Shit Cinema Checklist



Comprehensive list available of all my Shit Cinema picks now available on IMDB, as well as a Top 10 best worst movies.
Enjoy!

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Mannequin

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1987's answer to "can we make a comedy, but not make it funny?" It's been a long time (and a lot of bad movies) between reviews, but I was inspired last night after watching 1987's offering, Mannequin. Within the first few minutes of a white blonde American english-speaking ancient Egyptian travelling through time to find love into a animated opening sequence, I knew I was in for something special. Basically some guy is an 'artist' being creatively satisfied making store mannequins to perfection, but after creating what he considers to be a masterpiece he is fired. He then pursues a montage worth of new and mismatched jobs which he is fired fro one by one for being too artistic, then his girlfriend dumps him, then his motorbike breaks down, in the rain, but before getting too upset - he spots his perfect mannequin in a store window! Now I'll be honest, I kinda started zoning out so I don't know how but next thing he's working at that...
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Little Miss Magic

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Possibly 1998's biggest piece of shit, Little Miss Magic Well, I actually don't know what to say about this. And I couldn't find any clips of it on YouTube so I feel I'm hardly going to do it justice, but wow. One fateful day at a second hand store I found a "family movie pack", of 10 seemingly low-budget, straight to DVD films that looked like an absolute treasure trove. So while sitting on the couch hungover, January 1st, I decided to surprise my company with a film from it, and I am as equally sorry as I am not at all sorry for what we endured. Little Miss Magic - looks like a fun and energetic 90s film about a girl floating various pieces of outdated technology over her head, in some sort of Sabrina The Teenage Witch-esque novelty piece. Instead, right from the get-go it is a colourless, lo-fi and terrible (and I do mean terrible) CGI with the acting and production qualities of something like a midday movie or a bad episode of Touched By An Angel. ...
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